“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go” - Oscar Wilde
”How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell ‘BINGO!’” – Unknown
“When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.” - Will Rogers
“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets” - Al McGuire
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.” - Jack Handey