hey :3 i read what i wrote a few days ago. today is not a good day. i sat in therapy and was pretty confident about how things went at the office. i really manage to handle the situations there. and then she asked what was worrying me. i just started crying right away. i know it's ridiculous. i know your face stands for a lot more than just the things that happened between us. i loaded all the shit on it that happened in my life. and it became big again. and the fear became big again. the fear of you hurting me again and me feeling all the pain from all the times i've been hurt. and all those people who hurt me kinda have your face now. i associate you with everything that would make my life worth living, good and bad. it was me who built you up to this 'icon of doom'. and i'm scared as shit to meet you next tuesday. no matter how happy i am summer break is finally over and i get back the balance to working life, which tuesdays are to me. but tuesday now is you too. it's the memories of something that doesn't exist anymore, that actually never really existed. we stole those moments and neither of us had a right to do so. i blame you a lot of times, not as much as i blame myself though.
i'm still far from being over you. i'm exhausted from crying all day. i feel like you rejected me just recently and not a year ago. my heart is breaking over and over again. i feel insecure and powerless even though i know it's me who gave you that power over me. today is not a good day.
i'm still far from being over you. i'm exhausted from crying all day. i feel like you rejected me just recently and not a year ago. my heart is breaking over and over again. i feel insecure and powerless even though i know it's me who gave you that power over me. today is not a good day.